Sunday, December 7, 2008

the i-wants

Before my short tirade, I would like to let you know that Miss A helped her little sister learn to walk today, and was thrilled and proud at this event. Yay!!!! Sibling relations are improving!

That said, though, the aforementioned adorable daughter was standing in front of the refrigerator this morning and then blurted out, "I want some . . . I don't know what it is . . . but I want you to get it for me."

This so perfectly sums up our lives these days. Ever a new desire that must be catered to by the big people. And sometimes it is not even a something that she wants. It is just the catering part. Does anyone have a way to defuse this constant stream of demands?

I guess it is just a seeking of attention, and when she is actively engaged in other ways this happens less frequently, but I find it tough to keep her thoroughly engaged at all times and to meet the needs of her sister too. So we end up getting into this cycle of demanding things we don't really want to distract the attention of a grown-up, who may at some point comply in frustration and a desire for the demands to stop, but who then becomes doubly frustrated when, upon filling the demand, they realize that she has either:
a) left the food on her plate
b) decided to wear a different outfit after all, or
c) begun to have a tantrum anyway, about something altogether unrelated to the service just provided.

It is tough to deal with.

I moved most of her clothes down onto a low rack so she wouldn't have to ask a grown-up to retrieve them for her from the high closet rack, but she is now, instead, always in need of someone to help her straighten out the toes or crotch of the tights she loves wearing in this cooler weather. I have placed her dishes and cups in a low drawer so that she can get to them herself, but she does still need help making sandwiches and such. Maybe I am just expecting too much of her.

Should I ignore her? Empower her to do more for herself? I don't expect her needs to disappear; I would just like to defuse the power-games that seem to be emerging here. Has anyone found a solution to the "i wants" in their parenting experience?

No comments:

Post a Comment